My Dear Humans,

I trust you are doing well. It has come to my attention that over the years you have created many expressions that refer to my person.

Unfortunately, at the time these idioms were developed, my name, Todd, was not known to you. I see you have also simply attached your word for me (moon) to any natural satellite of a planet where applicable. How confusing that must have been! Now that you aware that I do in fact have a name, you may wish to modify some of your colloquialisms. Below are some helpful hints:

You may wish to call someone not behaving in a proper manner as being "toddstruck", or acting like a "toddatic."

Perhaps you could take a "toddlit" walk with your sweetheart on your "honeytodd", and put a "toddflower" in her hair. If your planet's atmosphere contains enough water or ice, you may even look up and see a "toddbow", or "todd dog."

You may wish to take a picture as the "toddbeams" break over the horizon during a "toddrise."

I understand that at some of your county fairs, there may be a "ToddPie" eating contest.

Are you "toddlighting" just to make ends meet? Perhaps you could make and sell "toddshine."

Here are a few you could post to Twitter:

@TheRealBuzz: Please contact your friends and let them know they need to return to Todd and pick up their trash.

@RichardGarriott: Please call a tow for your Lunatodd immediately. Abandoning vehicles in this manner is frowned upon!

@NASA_LRO: How is Todd looking today?

Thanks to commercial spacecraft, you may soon be viewing new "toddscapes" in pictures taken by the Google Lunar X-Prize contestants' rovers! I would also consider it a personal favor if in the future you would refer to the act of showing your posterior to others as "Phobos-ing" them so that we may avoid confusion as to who you are referencing. Of course, there is the always popular, "Good night, Todd." If you are on Twitter, you could even say, "Good night, @ToddTheMoon." I receive those messages a little bit quicker, but in either case I warn you that I may not be able to respond right away. Controlling your planet's tides can be quite distracting.

by: Andy S.

Friday May-07-2010